Is your garden supposed to take you on an emotional roller coaster ride from sublime joy to helpless overwhelming despair and back again with a full range of feelings in between?
Mine does. It may have something to do with the difference between my days spent in well tended gardens with proper beds and the rest of my time spent managing chaos on the edge of the wilderness.
There are moments of awe transfixed by raw beauty and thoughts of what a rat's nest looking at the same scene. It could be all about the lighting. The time of year and what is in bloom may also have an effect.
Day by day and year by year the garden is in constant motion. It is forever changing. I am not in control of most of what it does. All those well tended gardens with proper beds don't generate near the same amount of volatility.
I can walk through chaos and feel the most profound meditative calm.
On a different day, oh Lord what have I done? I need to rip all that out before it takes over. When? How? Is it even possible? Oh Lord. My decrepitude approaches.
I wait in anticipation for a Tall Flower Meadow to produce a riot of color with baited breath that it isn't flattened now by a crushing storm. The really big show is late summer into fall. The rest is just a warm up.
Maybe it is just me. Can a garden really toy with your emotions?