Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Spring On A Leash

The final diagnosis was stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the lungs with metastasis to the nearby lymph nodes and the lining of the wall of the lung cavity. It has kicked my butt. I am permanently tied to the oxygen tube. I had my first chemo last Friday.

Good thing I planned for a nice view from the front porch for my decrepitude.














The view from the dining room window is where my ashes go. Not many people have the opportunity to design their own final resting place.














I tried to rouse myself for a walk in the garden on Bloom Day and couldn't do it. The garden is proceeding with spring without me. The view of my front porch is nice too.














A couple days later I strapped on some oxygen and made a mighty effort. It will be the last walk in the garden until my breathing improves. I saw Celandine Poppies.














The trilliums are rising in multitudes. We will need that many to feed the damn deer.














All I can do is a weak holler now "Get Off My Lawn". I can't go chasing the varmints off.














This summer I will be getting chemo and immunotherapy tied to a leash and stuck inside. Robbed of the breath of life there is zero energy for movement of any kind. How will the maintenance gardener handle that?


5 comments:

C. C. said...

Oh no. I've been hoping for a better update. Being unable to breathe properly and work outside must be excruciating. And establishing the resting place for your own ashes... Practical but very sad. I'm so sorry. Sending positive thoughts for strength and breath as you go through this journey.

Barbara H. said...

Sobering news - was hoping for more time for you to enjoy spring. I'm glad you have the wonderful views that you have created but know that not being able to walk out in it is difficult. Also sending positive thoughts for you.

beverly said...

Owww, sorry to hear of this travail. One hopes some chemo/immuno treatments will improve things. And your garden will do remarkably well on its own I bet, while you watch and breathe. Is your mom back? I hope Nature will bring you some peace this spring.

Cheryl K. said...

This is not the update I was looking for. Best thoughts for your breath to improve in the coming weeks. Beautiful photos -

RobinL said...

I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve been through chemo, and it did indeed kick my ass. It broke my heart when the oncologist told me that gardening was off the table while my immunity was so compromised. I’m glad you do have those lovely garden views to sustain you.