Late Monday afternoon I looked to find the gas tank one click away from empty. More snow and cold was eminent. Not again! I called for delivery and was fussed at for not calling sooner. They like to give themselves a week to ten days to schedule a delivery. If I ran out I would need to be there because they would have to check the lines.
The thermostat was lowered. No hot water was used. No food was cooked on the stove. I needed to make that last tiny bit of gas last. The temperature inside slowly declined. I waited all day and no gas truck came. The temperature inside kept declining.
The snow arrived in the night. After another call in the morning, the gas truck came to replenish the tank. By sheer luck the tank had not emptied completely. And by luck the truck arrived before it really started to snow in earnest. A full tank of propane gas is not cheap.
Taking care of me has not been free. All things considered it could be viewed as low cost, but it isn't no cost. My tragic underemployment and being dependent for shelter weighs on me. That must end soon and I fear the coming change. Will my tragic underemployment end as well?
I have to admit to symptoms of SAD. I have been oddly exhausted and a bit melancholy. Being alone on the top of a frozen mountain with minimal real life human contact can't be good for me either.
All I know to do is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to keep moving forward. While the snow whipped outside, the myriad connections for the dishwasher were put in place. A stub wall between the refrigerator and dish washer was fastened to the tile floor and the back wall. This will give more support for the counter top.
I need to count my blessings. It will help chase the fear away. I need to count the days until I can drive down the mountain and begin to do paying kind work again. And I need to have faith that enough work will find me. It always has. Change is coming and it will do me good.